Sanky Pankies


There seems to be an assumption that all Dominican men are sanky pankies, which is a word used for those who go out with foreign women with the sole objective of taking their money or to use them to leave the country.  However, there are many good Dominican men, I am married to one, as are many other foreign women. Here is a basic questionnaire which might help you decide if your Dominican is a Sanky Panky or not.


Is my boyfriend a Sanky Panky?
Choose one answer to each question unless stated otherwise.
1. Appearance:
a. He has braided hair
b. He has long hair
c. He has normal short hair
2. Dress
a. He wears quite a lot of gold jewelry
b. He only has a little or no jewelry
3. Dancing
a. He is an excellent dancer and not afraid to dance
b. He is an average dancer and dances sometimes
c. He doesn't dance
4. Language skills
a. He speaks very good English
b. He speaks average English
c. He can’t speak any English
5. Occupation
a. He works in a hotel in animation/bar work
b. He works in a hotel doing something else
c. He works another tourist related job such as restaurant/bar/tour guide
d. He has a job outside the tourist industry
6. His finances
a. He has no bank account
b. He has a basic peso account
c. He has a peso account and a credit card
d. He has a peso account, maybe a dollar account, both with money in them, and a credit card.
7. Your finances
a. He asks you for money often and you send it
b. He doesn’t ask for money when you are not here, but you pay for everything when you are here.
c. He has never asked you for money
8. Language
a. He called you baby, mami, mi amor within hours of meeting you
b. He calls you baby or similar even after knowing him a while
c. He uses your name
9. He tells you he loves you
a. Within a day
b. Within a week
c. He hasn’t said it
10. Relationship
a. He asked you to marry him within a week
b. He asked you to marry him within three months/ or on your second visit
c. He asked you to marry him within a year/or on your third visit
d. He has not asked you to marry him
11. Travel
a. He has never travelled abroad, has no passport and no visas
b. He has travelled abroad once.
c. He has travelled abroad multiple times and has multiple visas.
12. His life (answer all which apply)
a. His mother has a serious illness and you have helped pay for treatment
b. He has been arrested when you were not here and you had to pay to get him out of jail
c. He was in hospital when you were not here and you had to pay the bills.
d. He lost his job when you were not here and you had to pay his rent.

Answers
Q1: A-3 B-2 C-1
Q2: A-3 B-1
Q3: A-3 B-1 C-0
Q4: A-2 B-1 C-0
Q5: A-4 B-3 C-2 D-1
Q6: A-3 B-2 C-1 D-0
Q7: A-5 B-3 C-0
Q8: A-3 B-2 C-1
Q9: A-3 B-2 C-0
Q10: A-4 B-3 C-1 D-0
Q11: A-2 B-1 C-0
Q12: A-4 B-4 C-4 D-4

Score
51 – 38 This man is almost definitely a sanky panky. He is only after your money, and/or a visa to your country, where he is likely to leave you as soon as he arrives. He very probably has other foreign girlfriends as well. Get out before it is too late.
37 –28 There is a chance that this man is a sanky panky. He has learned some of the tricks of the trade. There is a possibility he is not, but you need to be aware. Suggest never send money when asked and see if he sticks around.
28- 10 It is probable that this man is not a sanky panky. There are many great Dominican men, and just because they work in hotel animation and speak English does not mean they are a sanky.

Below 10: Very doubtful this man is a sanky panky. Good luck in your relationship



What attracts a man to a woman or a woman to a man? It is a whole package.  Looks, personality, compatibility.  And also what each one will bring to the party. Remember many Dominican men are poor, and many are unemployed. If you have a relationship with a Dominican man you cannot deny that part of the attraction for them will be what they think you can do for them, whether it is financially or the opportunity to leave the Dominican Republic and find work. The chances are that you have more money than them, which may give them the opportunity to achieve something with their life.  Many people assume that Dominicans want to marry a foreign woman to get a visa to another country.  Many do leave with to join their foreign wives, but just as many do not want to leave their home country. It is also a status symbol to have a foreign girlfriend. Plus they are also attracted to your worldliness and knowledge – most love to learn.
However when should the warning bells start to ring. Firstly if he asks you for money and is lying about what it is for.  Often it will be something desperate, especially if you are overseas – in jail, about to go to jail, very ill, or family member very ill. Be very wary of these requests. The second thing to watch out for is if he has a ‘wife’.  Remember very few Dominicans actually marry, if you live with someone then they are considered to be husband and wife. The bad sankies will already be living with a Dominican woman, and will be with you just to extort money to provide for him and his wife.
But let’s look at the positives of living with a Dominican man. They are very loving and very caring, in fact you could say devoted.  They are also very protective, which can lead to jealousy.  They are very family orientated and will always support their families, not just you but their parents as well.  You should expect your Dominican man to want to give money to his parents regularly.  It is said that Latin men are very macho, but in my experience, and that of other women I know who are married to Dominicans, they will help around the house, clean and cook.  And one of the great things I find is the optimism and the joy for life.
In the good relationships between Dominican men and foreign women it is a win win situation.  Both get out of the relationship what they are looking for.

If you have any questions about Dominican men, what it is like to be married to one, the pros and cons, or wonder if your Dominican man is a sanky panky then have a look at DRsisterhood. The site and service have been set up especially for women with Dominican men as a means of information and support.

Also, to learn more about Dominican men and the culture of the country, you can read my two books "What About Your Saucepans?' and "Life After My Saucepans." They tell my story, warts and all, how I made the decision to leave the UK and come to the DR and the ups and downs of living with and marrying a Dominican Man. The second one, has lots of real life stories about ladies involved with Sanky Pankies. Most readers love them, and they are both best sellers on Amazon. You can buy then in  kindle and paperback versions on all of the Amazons sites, in Chapters as well in Canada, and on Smashwords for the iPhone, Kobo and Nook versions. I hope you enjoy them and please let me know what you think of them and if you have time, leave a review as well!

65 comments:

  1. your blog is quite good, keep it going and thanks for come and live in my country, you are welcome here :)

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  2. Loovee your blog! Muaaahh kisses from DR! Tu ta como e! :)

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    1. Gracias! Glad you like the blog! Y muy feliz que toy como e!

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  3. I like your blog, and a got inspired after seeing your,and i am creating one also, but i dont think i can write like you.

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    1. The hard part is starting. Once you have set up your blog then write in a way that you feel comfortable with. The ideas come to me when I am walking the dog or going to the colmado and then I just have to write them down straight away. Just go for it!

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  4. Hola Lindsay.... I love your blog. It is everything to me. You have taught me soo much about my country and my own culture...is amazing. You have inspired me to write a blog about the dominican diaspora here in the United States (precisely NYC where I reside). I just dont know how to get started :( . ALso, can you create an app for your blog so we can have easier access to it via iphone/android?? that would be very helpful. By the way, I cannot wait to buy your book when it comes out. your story is fascinating and i look forward to your posts everyday. please never stop writing. I promise once i get the book i will make it my mission to travel home and get it autographed by you. :) abrazos desde El Bronx, NY!!! -Pedro

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    1. Glad you enjoy the blog Pedro and great that you want to get started. Just go to blogger.com and start writing! Let me know when you have started it so I can follow it. I will look at how to create the iphone/android app.

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  5. It would be also helpful for you all to watch this video about Sanky Pankys.
    It's from a RD channel.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-Q2bc9LtfA

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    1. Good idea is a hilarious film!

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    2. I just found this thread. Better late than never! My favorite part of the first Sanky Panky movie is when they are all ordering drinks and can't make up their minds. "Boca de Piano" (Fausto Mata), who plays the main character, can understand most of the names of drinks like daiquiri and margarita. Because they are so undecided, one of the women exclaims, "Oh, my God," and Boca de Piano orders a "my God on the rocks" (!!) He thinks it's the name of a drink! I laughed hysterically at that scene, and every time my husband and I find something hilarious, we say, "Oh, my God! Un my God con hielo!"

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  6. Hahaha I love this!! I have also lived in the Dominican Republic. One question your forgot on your questionaire was age! Tons of Dominican men go after women way older than them. I always say if you can't get a young, good looking man in your own country but have no trouble in the DR.....that's a red flag!

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    1. Good point. Having said that Dominicans don't think age is as important as we do. I am 14 years older than my husband but he refuses to believe it even when shown my passport.

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  7. Hello Lindsay, It took me 4 years to finally find out that my dominican husband is a sanky. This is a very long story and today when i look behind, I was really stupid to believe in him like I did. I was coming in DR two times a year for long stay each time and when I started to talk too much about coming to stay full time with him, everything jumped in my face...I realized that I was going to disturb him and his lifestyle...

    It is too late for regrets. Nothing happens for nothing and today I am very happy that I am out this even if I still have a long way to go to get back my selfesteem

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    1. i am so sorry this happened to you. If you want to email me with your story then please do, and there is a great facebook site for women who have been sankified called Dominican sankies https://www.facebook.com/groups/229001960482635/ where women share their stories.

      You are not alone so please get your self esteem back soon. Anything I can do to help let me know. You were not stupid.

      Take care

      Lindsay

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  8. As always I enjoy your blog. do you know of a blog or thread about marrying Dominican women. Not dr1, all one reads there are moans, nothing constructive. Thanks, Richard

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    1. Sorry I don't know of a blog/thread about marrying Dominican women. I should think many of the issues are similar though - is she after me or my money, behavioural differences, language problems, cultural differences.

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  9. Hi I am a dominican born but raised in another country since i was 4 yrs old. Now at 36 i have met my husband in DR. He has been in my island before and did even got married to another woman in my island before but it did not work and she never registered the marriage so he couldnt stay here. he was actually deported. It was suggested by his sister for us to get married and he did not actually proposed but he did mentioned it. we did not spend much time together only a few days and i went back to dr to marry him so that he can come to my island.
    My concern is ofcourse: does he really love or care for me? I have paid for everything so far including the small wedding we just had, his clothes and mine, the food, the car, the hotel, he had some medical conditions that i have paid for him aswell ( it was tough for me because I have no way of knowing if he indeed was or is sick). for all the legal paper I had to pay for everything, his and mine. I bought him 2 bb which both are no longer working, when he had them we used to pin everyday, but since he has no phone anymore we sometimes went many days without knowing anything about each other, he ussually miscall me and I call him back, so again I am paying for the calls.
    Honestly the only thing that keeps me giving him the benefit of the doubt is the fact that he has introduce me to his daughters and have even spent time with the family of his deseased former wife (mother of his daughters), this is why i still believe in him, but ofcourse when it comes to money I start doubting again.
    Now that I am back on the island I am making all the arrangements to get him here, so I guess now that we will finally live together I Will see how he will act. I hope he lives up to his promise that he will take care of me as soon as he starts working. I just hope its all I am dreaming of.

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    1. I will keep my fingers firmly crossed that it all works out well for you. All the best for your future.

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  10. Hi
    I've just discovered your blog! Love your posts about sankies!. I've recently met one at Iberostar Hacienda Dominicus... he really plays by the book.
    He even told me his italian girlfriend was killed in an accident 2 months ago but... I guess dead people can also write on Facebook from paradise :/

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    1. Glad you enjoy the blog. Sorry you met a sanky and I hope you weren't played. Previous girlfriends often meet a sticky end, helps with the sympathy angle. The better ones often have deceased wives and children, but the mothers are always alive as they use them to collect cash later on as they usually become very ill!

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  11. Dear Lindsay,
    I wish I had come across all of this information last year. I was conned by mine. He works in a resort in Bavaro. I'm so ashamed and feel stupid. I'd like to email you my story. Now I'm dealing with the raw emotions and depression.

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    1. Of course you can email me your story at yoursaucepans@hotmail.com.
      Please don't feel ashamed nor stupid. It was not you, nor your fault. It was him. I am sorry you are dealing with depression now. Feel free to email me, maybe I can help a little.

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    2. Dear Anonymous,
      It is normal to feel this way. Sometimes we have something missing from our lives and when someone shows us amazing effection especially from a latin lover...its hard to differentiate what is fake and real. I am going through many different emotions right now as well. Best of luck and remember you are not alone!

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    3. I also was played by a Dominican that worked at a resort in Bavaro. I never thought I would have feelings for him but I did go visit him many times. I found out he was married and recently left for Spain to be with his wife.
      I feel stupid and very disappointed in myself for letting someone play me for a fool.

      Great blog!

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    4. hello, in what hotel was it? I have met someone in riu naiboa and i'm just a little bit scared if he is a sankie, I don't think so, but yeah, you never know for sure..

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  12. This questionnaire can be related to Bajan men as well :-)

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    1. I am sure all sorts of nationalities are sankies! Thanks for letting me know.

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  13. I don't even know what to think in my situation. But I'm THINKING I'm ok because he wants me to move and live there (I can't) and brings it up constantly. ..he doesn't work in tourism (but he does work and goes to college and is in Santiago. I'm not Being naive to anyof this. But itsall very confusing.

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    1. My wife is from Santiago. It is not unusual for a Sanky to say that they don't want to leave their country because they know very well that you will not want to leave the comforts and opportunities of your country to go and live in a third world country with all of its problems and discomforts. My a co-worker of mine find out that our apartment in Santiago didn't have any hot water or an air conditioner, or even screens on the windows (think bugs, lizards, frogs, and other "visitors"), the days without water or electricity (by the way the toliet doesn't work without water. Get me?) they were like "What??? How can you live like THAT".

      So it's not unusual for them (either Male or female) to say they don't want to leave or even beg you to come live with them. They KNOW you won't.

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  14. Hi Lindsay!

    I am so glad I found your blog. I just returned from the DR recently and befriended an awesome guy I met there, he does like me and has expressed interest however we live in different countries. We have kept in touch and speak daily. I was freaked out, however, when I came across various articles regarding "sankies". Granted, none of the descriptions fit him or our interactions, but one could never be sure. Is there a way I could possibly tell you my story to see if I am in danger of being conned?

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    1. Of course. Just email me at yoursaucepans@hotmail.com

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  15. Good morning Lindsay,

    I've been up all night ready your blogs. I am engaged to a Dominican man living in La Vega. I have many questions, concerns, and doubts about our relationship. I have physically been to the DR four times, to see him. We met over the internet, and have pursued a relationship for almost two years. I can not figure out if he is a spankie or not. :(. I have met. He scored a 17 on the questionaire. I have met most of all his family from my frequent visits, including his children and their mother. Sometimes i reflect on my visits and wonder if everyone is playing their "role" in this. I am definitely scared to be conned. My family all work with Homeland Security and he knows this. I have rocky relationship with my father because of my decision to petition for him. I have never used an online dating site ever and that is where we met. I just want to know what other signs i should look for besides the ones listed? I also purchased your book to try to get some more insight. Comments and advice needed please. Thank you,

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    1. If you have specific questions best to email me on yoursaucepans@hotmail.com. The sankies are getting cleverer re asking for money - many don't now. Check out facebook sites, just as he wanted to you meet family that is not necessarily a good sign, and also check that he is not still with the childrens' mother.

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  16. Hi Lindsay, here is something for you to make it public and for the girls to be aware of. But i need to tell my story first before I make my warning.
    I am a single mother who have been taking care of my child after divorce 24/7. The father didnt participate in my son's life at all. In May 2013, first time in my life I was able to travel to DR on my own, since my son is 17 right now and didnt want to travel with me anymore. Before it had always been either me traveling with my exhusband or with my child. Since my divorce i have been in a few serious relationships and since I am very successful in my career and people consider me as a very pretty woman, I have been dating very good men, successful financially and so on. But....... most of them fail to be good lovers. So here we go I am on vacation... May 2013 in DR. Of course after so many years of being a good girl I was opened to some kind of wild adventure....never had hearing of spankies in my life before. I brought condoms with me too. I wasnt looking for it by myself and was hanging out with canadian group who came in the same plane as me. But these guys from animation team know their business :). Well yes.... it looks all romantic when they are trying to get you. Yes they dance with you like there is no tomorrow. You feel good and desired. And here we go, he offers you to go out in town. You are having good time, drinking and dancing.... no interruption, as at the resort the animation team cant do it; they are supposed to entertain everybody, but here, he is all yours :). We leave the party at some point... he rents the motel for the night...I am "NO....NO...NO" and then think "" What the hell"... I am on vacation.... never did anything like this.... and "ooopppps....I left my condoms in the room". So I think "Well...I am ok...I am not 18 yo....as long as he has the protection with him... I will go for it" if not.....bye bye". Well he spent some time to make me go....blah blah blah.We enter the room, he goes to the bathroom... i go after him.... and he says "Are you going to watch me?" (this is the moment i think he mad a hole on the condom)....so of course i back off. At the end of our romantic night with the romantic thunder storm outside etc.... i felt the smell and screamed "Omg the condom is broken"...He goes "No.no no...its ok I will show you". I said "Yes..Show me"... It looks ok but i force him to put water in. nd here we goes...lots of water coming out. He started to appoligies...etc.....but girls...When the condom is torn by physical nature...it peels off like a banana...but if someone makes a hole... it stays as the whole. The bottom line....THEY WANT YOU TO GET PREGNANT!!!!. Only lately i recalled..he had asked me if i want more kids....that i am so beautiful I should get more kids, especially if a good man is around....etc.Girls....ALWAYS HAVE YOUR OWN CONDOMS...NO MATTER WHAT.... I got checked later on and am glad i didnt pick-up anything else. Was depressed for a while just of the fact....

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  17. forgot to mention...i forced him to get me emergency "Plan B" pills next morning. And he did

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  18. I lived in the DR for some years. I had a very bad relationship with someone that I thought was a good man. He was abusive and couldn't keep his dick in his pants. I starting to save money and moved out, best thing I ever did. He still botherd me until I found someone that I feel was my soul mate. We were together for 18 months before he was killed in his helicopter in 2009.
    I enjoyed living there and still miss it after being back in the UK for 2 years. Would I go back, no well not to live/ Great blog be the way. All the best to you and your Hubby xx

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    1. So sorry for your loss, and thanks for reading the blog.

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  19. I know that this blog is old but my man scored a 14 on the questionnaire!!!! super excited....especially after having my a nasty break up. thank you so much for this blog

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  20. Dear Lindsay, thank you very much for the excellent blog and the other pieces of information, very helpful indeed! Everything fits even so the overall score for this sanky is low, maybe he is new to the game? What I was wondering how can someone life with a person every day for months and still have a common law wife? After reading all the information yesterday, I started to wonder and I started on some search. I was able to confirm the sad fact that there was a death in the family, which will impact him as the oldest male. I want to be supportive during this difficult time, but the thought that someone would lie about that was so upsetting that I had to have this part confirmed somehow. With him and the family still in the mourning period, I received a call from him today that he was arrested last night over an incident that happened back in October I think. I am sure these types of accusations might not be uncommon, but this is still pretty bizzare to me: In October he claimed that a neighbor told another neighbor that he was seen with a foreigner and the neighbor decided to blackmail him. He made it very clear that it is risky for him to be seen with a foreignor, because people will think he has money! The neighbor has a daughter who is underage and who claimed that they had sex. He claims that the problem started years ago when the neighbor saw him kiss the daughter and of course the daughter is known to have had many partners. I told him to get a lawyer, but he refused and said he would have to settle it himself and that would be the end of it. We fought for over a week because he kept bringing it up and making me feel guity so I finally gave in because it was not worth the money he needed. I told him to make sure to get a statement from the laywer that the issue was resolved. I thought that this would not be the end of it, but forgot about it over the months and with the recent death it completely escaped my mind. So today's call came out of the blue, like you said I am out of the country, but planning to return soon for at least 4 months. He told me he was in jail last night and released today, because his father hired two lawyers to get him out. This is the father who has no money! He will have to go back to jail within a month and will be put away for a while if he does not pay. His father is borrowing money to help and so is his aunt so there is only this "small" amount left (the amounts are increasing). When I called his bluff and asked him if he thinks I am stupid he got very angry and hung up. I called him back because I wanted to confront him and he changed tactics and told me he just needed my moral support, but then kept bringing up the money again. I played along and told him that for that money he can hire a laywer, but he insisted everything was settled with the new lawyer the mother of the minor hired. I told him that I wanted to talk to the laywer and see the contract this time and he told me he would show it to me tomorrow. Usually, I have been the person soothing things over, but this time he went to far! I it just so disappointing to see how far people will go for money, especially since he always warned me about these bad people out there and he always blamed me for not trusting him because I keep on asking all these questions so he would finally cave and admit that he was lying. He usually gets offensive and refuses to answer any questions and tells me that I want to control him, which really is proof enough. I would love to hear from you how one can get immersed in this great and wonderful culture without being prey to these types of attempts. I do not have a problem at all to give and share my resources, but within reason. When it goes from gasoline, food, pills or propane for his Mom to these types of outrageous stories, it must end right there. So, be aware even if the person does not exactly fit the profile and takes a slower and maybe a more creative approach, he still could be a sanky!

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    1. Sorry, I meant the amounts are decreasing because I am indicating that I do not have money!

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    2. Yes this is standard - it starts for simple things and then becomes more and more outrageous and they get abusive and angry when you do not simply roll over and pay. Always ask for proof.

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  21. i married a dominican man .i am 14 years older.He had all kinds of women i didnt know about.he was not a good lover didnt kiss ,didnt even want to have sex with me ,never touched me after the marriage.seems he likes young girls.now tells me he was never attracted to me but tries to keep me hanging on.compulsive liar completely immature acts like hes a god.doesnt communicate .pay attention to the red flags and check up on them they always have a girl somewhere and will go to prostitutes

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  22. Hi Lindsey. my wife is currently being scammed by a sankypanky in DR
    this has been going on for about eight month and she does not even
    realize it I just figured it out myself...besided pointing out all the evidence and warning blogs,articles etc....is there anything that I as husband can do to force the Sanky Spanky to dump my wife ..I know him and his family by name and knows were he lives I dont want do anything violent of course but is there some threats like that involves discrediting there status within the community ...I am just thinking I heard that they lay great value stays within a community If you have any suggestions please contact me ...time is of the essence ! thanks

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    1. First of all, if your wife is even entertaining him, don't wait for him to dump her. you should dump her first.

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  23. Suggest you email me at yoursaucepans@hotmail.com so that I can respond personally.

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  24. Hello all, we are looking for articulate ladies to feature in a new television documentary exploring the modern woman’s attitude towards relationships and holiday romances. We are looking for stories of people who have found love and happiness with their holiday romance and perhaps are now married and we'd also like to get in touch with those whom it didn't end as well. We would also like to follow someone on their quest to the Dominican Republic who is looking to meet someone. We are currently in the research stage and of course, all information will be dealt with in the strictest of confidence. If you are interested in talking to me please email anna@thumbsupproductions.tv

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    1. Hi Everyone, I am new to this blog and am completely blown away by what I am reading. I am a mother of three grown children. I was on vacation with two of them and my youngest friend, when I was approached by two from the animation team. I refused twice to go off the resort. My son said oh ma go have a good time, relax. So I did. Now going into my 11th month with the same guy and instead of being secure in our relationship I am quite the opposite. I have been travelling back and forth once a month and have spent anywhere from 4 to 16 days at a time there. We have had amazing times and I feel closer to him than I have to anyone in a very long time. But I can not ignore what I read, his actions at times and my gut feeling. I would love to be included in Anonymous June 3rd quest to follow a relationship in the Dominican to see where it goes. I hate the thought that someone of my age and experience can possibly be a victim of a third world Sanky. But mostly a broken heart is never good!

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    2. Thanks for reading the blog. The program posted about 3 June was cancelled I think, but you can find out more about sankies by reading www.drsisterhood.com and can also email me directly at yoursaucepans@hotmail.com

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  25. Wel DAMN, i just found out i'm a bloody Sanky Pankie!

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  26. Hello,
    I met my husband a year ago while site seeing and he was policia patroling the streets. He asked me out Inwhich I declined but inevitable accepted because my friend want to go out with his coworker. When he arrived at the club he was sloppy drunk and obnoxious. He got on one knee and proposed for marriage which I took for him trying to just get a Visa. I read about all this before I went. I held a cab and went back to our rented condo immmediately alone while my friend invited her friend to join her. Needless to say I did not speak to him the remaining trip but on returning home my friend tells me he called and text everyday to apologize for being drunk that night. After long thought I contacted him...informing him I was taken another trip to DR within a few weeks....At the time I was stationed in Puerto Rico. I returned for his birthday and stayed at BeLive Boca Chica with a friend. After almost a year, many arguments and distrust of his motives, we were married. Yes I am out of a lot of money due to wedding and marriage procedures with crooked friends supposedly help us. I still feel kind of nervous due to age difference and culture but I love him and believe he loves me too. Only thing that makes me scared is the pressure he constantly gives me of getting his Visa because he wants to come live with me, saying he misses me and starting his new life. I am now taking my time to get to make sure I am sure about our love. Should I be worried, we have 15yrs difference? Should I have concern even though we have discussed that I will not send any money and not going for broke for him or his family. He lives with his mom and two younger brothers. His mom and one brother are military. He is now a truck driver with his dad. Yes I pay for a lot but it's while I am there and dressing him because he doesn't have the greatest wardrobe.

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    1. Well it sounds like he wants to leave the country as many do = only you will know if the love is true - just be careful with your heart and your money.

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  27. Interesting read! It's a shame this thread is a bit old. I hope you will still read this. I have been aware of the existence of sankies for some time now but I had not heard that term until I read your blog. I am a man and I'm about to travel back to Rep Dom to spend some time with a woman I met there. I'm writing this now to introduce the idea that there are women sankies as well, although perhaps there is a different name for them. I have met several women there and many are eager to continue to stay in touch via Whatsapp. Some will use ploys very similar to what you mentioned in order to get money. I have heard "My mother is sick"; "My child is sick"; "I am sick"; "I need food, internet, a trip to the beauty parlor, etc" and on and on. I confess I did send some money at first but I soon wised up. I think the women are not as devious as a male sanky. Many ask for money for school. I believe that is an honest desire. The fact is there is very little money to be had in RD and not great opportunity to make it. I attempted to your sanky quiz to my current girlfriend and ended up with a 16. So we'll see. I have learned a few cultural items about the women of Rep Dom. If you are interested in any insight I might have for future articles I'd be happy to drop you an email. Thank you very much for blogging, please continue. I just adore what I've experienced of the Dominican Republic and you have greatly increased my awareness. Good luck with the election!

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    1. Hi. Yes there are women sankies too - sankiettes! Please do email if you would like to do a guest post on Dominican women - yoursaucepans@hotmail.com

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  28. And be careful with buying gifts to them or their families... Normally Haitians and Dominicans don't keep them as a souvenir from you but they sell them to get quick money!

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  29. Hello, I'm married to a Dominican man and I'm 15yrs older then him. We meet in the US and he came to help a friend of mine take down my pool. The first time he asked my friend if I would go out with him but I said no, I'm not interested. About a month later my friend happen to ask me to come over his house which is across the street in the USA and the same guy asked me again to go out but had my friend ask me because he didn't speak English. I said ok and then we started seeing each other everyday and in about 1 1/2 months we started living together and then he ask me to marry him which I did 6 or 7 months later. I said yes and we have been married for 1 1/2 years now. I couldn't be happier and yes, I did go thru immigration and paperwork. We have started a business for him and I work full time. We have completed the process for his children so they can come live with us in the US which I'm fine with and we talk about everything. I was very scared at first but took a chance as my friend didn't know that much about him but he was divorced. We are a great team together and very happy so you can meet a great Dominican man. I'm very happy.

    anonymous.

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    1. Congratulations. Good Dominican men are amazing.

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  30. Good Evening Lindsay, Greetings from South Florida, USA! I like to thank you and congratulate you for such a wonderful blog, this is very informative and realistic. I took my "Sanky Panky" test and my score was 10. I never thought that my future Dominican man was one, he is a very hard working man, we have been in contact for more than a year, and I finally got to meet his beautiful family during my travel this past December. They are a very humble family with strong family ties, he just needs a little opportunity to make things better for himself and his family. I believe that every human being deserves an opportunity in this life; but of course....I do not let my guards down because people can change in a blink of an eye. But I'm very exited to know that he is't one, and I'm looking forward to share my life with him, it it's in the Good Lord's plan. Happy New Year, and keep up the excellent work! :)

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    1. All the very best - hope it all works out for you both.

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  31. Thank you Lindsay for your blogs and your books. I have started reading the first one and am thoroughly enjoying it.
    I, too, have fallen in love with a man from RD. And he passes the test ...got a score of 8. It has been many months since we met and he has not asked me for a cent, in fact quit the opposite, he sent me money for my flight to come back to visit him. He did try to come to me - twice, but both visa applications were denied based on him not having a travel history and therefore they do not believe that he will return to RD. It was maddening for me, but he, like many Dominican men, just said "it's no problem, I'll try again". He paid for everything...getting his passport, doing his biometrics (fingerprints and digital scan) and both application fees.
    He does work in the tourist industry and does not have any major assets in his name, which he has explained to me is part of the problem. If he owned a house or had a different job with ties to his community then it may be different and he may be approved for a tourist visa. He has never talked about marriage or getting engaged or even hinted at either.
    Which is good, cause that would have caused me to run in the other direction. I believe in marriage and absolutely believe in love, but I'm not one who jumps into it lightly. I have never been married. I am absolutely gun-shy about pulling that trigger. I have had wonderful long term, very loving relationships in my life and the last one resulted in the blessings of 2 amazing kids. But still, I haven't walked down the aisle. I know I have been waiting for a very special man who looks at me and sees me. Who doesn't want to change me or wish I was thinner/fatter, or had longer/shorter hair, or made more/less money, or faults me for my successes or impulsive nature (I am a true Gemini and thrive on change and adventure). I feel I have found this special man in RD and if it is gods will we will be together for the long term ...which may include marriage....but it will take a lot to tame and reign in this wild mare.

    I will say Dominican men are very sensual and sexy and very complimentary ...in a very transparent way. I realize the Sanky culture and that men and women need to be aware and be safe (PS - there are Sanky women too y'all) ...but enjoy the compliments and the attention and if it is real, really enjoy it. The way my man looks at me is amazing. I love the reflection of myself in his eyes. He looks at me like there is no other woman on the planet and he appreciates my qualities and characteristics. He hasn't tried to change me or asked me to adapt my life to his in anyway. He sends me beautiful messages and videos. And this is probably the most intimate relationship I have ever had without sex. I am definitely an old school romantic so the poetry and singing me love songs goes a long way. And not once has my spidey sense been tingling...and admittedly I have a pretty good bull-shit meter. And I have traveled to the Caribbean numerous times and been hit on all day everyday. Which I have never taken seriously because I know sex can be a recreational sport in many Caribbean & latin countries. I mean no disrespect by that comment. I just mean that often sex is not associated with "love" as it is many other cultures. It is pleasure and enjoyment and not necessarily an intimate affair.

    I am happy that the more and more I learn about Sanky and the culture in RD is confirming that that is not what is going on for us. I have no idea what the future holds...anymore than I can predict anything. But for today and foreseeable future I am in love with a wonderful Dominican man who is making me happier than any other that came before him.

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  32. Hello, I'm doing research for German TV for a TV production and I'm looking for German women who have been victims of Sanky Panky. for this reason I followed Lindsay's blog with interest. and am very shocked .... R.I.P rest in peace and may these murderers get their just punishment ....
    If there are any German women in this blog who are victims of Sanky Panky, please contact us by email. ria.grimm@dreh-wg.d

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  33. I definitely have gotten trapped with a baby and married a sanky I’m so hurt o definitely will be sharing my story and alerting his identity with the US government I also spoke with a attorney about possible child support.

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