Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy New Year (and more on Dominican Men)

Happy New Year to you all and thanks again for reading. I have just checked the statistics for the last year and this blog has had 33,000 visits from 15,000 people in an amazing 130 countries. People from the USA visit it most, followed by Canada, the Dominican Republic, UK, France, Australia, Netherlands and Spain. We have one reader in Papua and New Guinea, one in Kazakhstan and one in Ethiopia! Amazing really and very rewarding to think that people all over the world are reading about the DR and my life in the barrio.

Those reading the blog last year

Last night was New Years Eve, and my husband cooked our traditional New Years Eve meal, san cocho.

It was just the family, he and I and the two boys, plus Chivirico and his aunt. A great time was had by all, but I must admit I was tucked up and well asleep by midnight.

I hope you all have a great 2013, and to start it off with a smile a little more on the culture of Dominican men.

Standard conversation with English man when I realise the car is missing.

Q: Where is the car?
A: I lent it to Jim as his isn’t working and he needs to pick up his wife.  He will bring it back in an hour.

Same conversation with a Dominican man

Q: Where is the car?
No reply. (The question often needs to be repeated. It has been suggested to me that husband suffers from Attention Deficit Syndrome. Personally I think it is damaged hearing due to years of loud music, or, more probably, Ignore The Question if the Answer is Difficult Syndrome).
Q: Where is the car?
A: Viene pronto. It will be here soon.
Q: I didn’t ask when it would be back, I asked where it was.
A: Casi esta llegando. It is almost here.
Q: Yes but where is it now.
A: No esta lejo. Not far away.
Q: Where exactly?
A: Cerca. Close
Q: Who has the car?
A: Ese viene. It’s coming.
Q: (Shouting by now) Where is the bloody car?

Standard phone call with English man

Q: Hi, where are you?
A: I am at Jim’s house discussing the car. I will be home in 30 minutes.

Same conversation with a Dominican man

Q: Hi, where are you?
A: Aqui. Here.
Q: Where exactly is here?
A: Aqui abajo. Here further down.
Q: What are you doing there?
A: Nada. Nothing.
Q: So why are you there doing nothing?
A: Hablando. Talking.
Q: Who are you talking to?
A: Hablando disparate. Talking rubbish.
Q: Who are you talking rubbish with?
A: Nadie. No one.
Q: When are you coming home?
A: Ahorita. Later
Q: Just so I get this right. You are there,wherever there is, talking rubbish with no one and will be back later.
A: Exactamente.

As you can see, Dominican men are excellent at not answering the question. I used to find it frustrating, now I find it amusing and any conversation asking for information is a challenge. There seems to be a total confusion between where and when. If I ask stepson where his brother is, he always says he will be back soon. Most odd.  I am sure it is not done deliberately, it is just the way it is.


  1. Happy New Year! Best wishes for 2013 from Heidelberg, Germany. Every time I read your blog I admire your patience and your humour.

    All the best, Ines

    1. Vielen Dank Ines! What a beautiful place to live. Thanks for reading.

  2. Looking forward to following your adventures in 2013.
    Those conversations sound very like the ones I have with my youngest son ... talk about evasive!
    Every good wish for the new year to you and your family from your blog buddy in France X

    1. Ha ha re your youngest. Happy New Year to you, family and animals too Steph.

  3. I think every woman would find that quite frustrating! But I suppose eventually you would have to get used to it.
    Happy New Year!

    1. Happy New Year to you too Sami. You just have to work out how to extract the information you need!

  4. Happy New Year Lindsay! Love reading your blog! Make sure the Dominican men are as you describe, but it's not always so funny :)
    but right it is just the way it is.


    1. Happy New Year Olga. Yes it is not always funny and can be frustrating. Keep warm there in Russia!

  5. So funny! Are all DR men politicians?! There may be some hope for you though... as they get older men get deafer - I'm pretty sure it happens to them all and then they can't hear anything you say and you give up... something to look forward to! Great blog, enjoying it from France, I'll be back, Janine

    1. Hi Janine. I will wait for him to go deafer then! Glad you enjoy blog. Will check yours out.

  6. Oh my gosh - that second conversation could have been taken verbatim from a text message conversation between me and my Dominican boyfriend! Occasionally when I ask what he's doing I'll get "aqui aburrido," but usually it's just "nada." =)

    This used to frustrate me to no end because I felt as though he didn't want to talk to me. Add in that his job requires that our relationship is often long distance, so it was extra frustrating until I realized that's just the way it is! I'm happy to hear that it's a widespread thing and not just my guy. Keep the posts coming - I love reading them!

    1. Glad you enjoy Robbie and rest assured your Dominican Bf sounds totally normal.

  7. A belated Happy New Year Linds and may it be a healthy, prosperous and happy one!

    Your conversation with a DR man made me laugh out loud! Although I would have throttled him by now if he was mine :)

    1. Happy New Year to you too PiP. Yes I can imagine you would throttle him LoL - one needs the patience of a saint here sometimes.

  8. Lindsay, thank you for posting this. It's the first good laugh I've had in days! It makes me realize my Dominican bf is not actually trying to be evasive. I just wonder if I irritate the heck out of him with all my questions!

  9. Read this post and it was hilarious! Had to share this with some of my Dominican friends. Thanks for the laugh!

  10. Hilarious! I wish i´d have read this before, might have saved some hair being yanked out on my part and him getting screamed at and shoved off wherever he may have been sat at the time lol

    1. Oh dear. I feel your pain! I am still going through it lol!

  11. Reading your story made me realise that I wasn't going insane... I did think I had an idiot for a fiancè until I read your story thus it saved out relationship as i was going crazy with confusion lol
    I will write you the kind of conversations we have then you will see what trouble i had ...

  12. Ok I'm going to write you a conversation that we had over the telephone

    Hi.. where are you? I said
    where..Where's here..
    By the corner...
    The corner of what? I can't see you I'm on the phone what corner I ask again..
    Are you at the banco ...I ask...
    No in the middle...
    Middle of what?
    Middle of the street....
    what are you doing?
    Did you go to the banco... I ask
    Yes what did they say...
    Nothing.. I said ...I can't hear you...move away from the music... so what did the Banco say
    Nothing forget it.. I find a way..
    Find a way for what..
    Don't do it..
    Don't do what??
    Nothing forget it.. I do my thing..
    What's the problem??
    Nothing we speak tomorrow..
    No we speak now. what's wrong? what did the bank say??I can do nothing..call me back 5 minutes..
    I wait 5 minutes..I call back..
    Call me back 10 minutes... I wait 10 minutes...I call back...
    Can you call back in half an hour??
    No it's 11pm here in England I'm waiting to go to bed..we talk now.. what are you doing??
    Looking to find...
    Find what??
    Somebody to lend me something..
    Lend you what??
    Nothing forget it....
    (He starts talking to people in the street)
    I say I'm in England we are talking.. stop talking to other people it's rude...
    Sorry call me after...
    After what??
    Going to find...
    Find what??
    People to lend..
    Look what's the problem??
    I'm getting angry please can you tell me what the hell has happened I don't understand what's happened at the banco what's the problem what did they say???
    Listen up..Israel's arrived say HELLO to him....
    Stop screaming ...call me at six bye we speak after... He closes the phone....
    I scream at the phone and throw it across the room

    I have many conversations like this my mind is screwed up at times but reading your artical made me think this must be a Dominican thing ..