Friday, June 15, 2012

How to understand a Dominican Man

I receive several emails from foreign ladies who have Dominican boyfriends or husbands asking for information or advice, so I thought it might be useful every so often to tell you what I have learned over the last 10 years, living with and then married to a wonderful Dominican man, and also bringing up two stepsons.


When I learned Spanish and could more or less speak it and understand it, I thought life would be a lot easier, in that I could understand perfectly what my husband was saying to me. But not only do you have to translate from Spanish into English so that you get it, firstly you have to translate from Dominican Man Spanish into Spanish and then into English.



Let me explain. Time within a relationship is totally different from normal time. Dominican men live in a sort of space bubble.  When he goes out there are only three times. Five minutes, twenty minutes and then two hours. Five minutes is up to an hour, or an hour and a half but never ever five minutes. Twenty minutes is around three hours and two hours is all day. So lesson one is always make that translation and you will not be hanging around waiting.



Of course they often do not tell you how long they will be, as many Dominican men have a habit of just disappearing and you have no idea where they have gone or when they will be back! One minute you think he watching TV and the next minute he is nowhere to be seen. We had some friends coming to see us a month or so ago from a long way away. They weren't planning to stay long, just an hour or two. They arrived and he was nowhere to be seen. I called and he answered. He was miles away in town, and had just gone without saying a word! I told him to move his ass back sharpish - "Mueve tu culo!"

Or they may say they will be back ahorita - later. That is a very dangerous word as it could be days, not just minutes or hours.


When they return from whatever, you will ask why they are so late and what they have been doing. The answer will always begin with "Lo que pasa..." which means "well what happened...". I have learned that anything at all which follows this phrase will not be the whole truth! So lesson two is whatever follows "Lo que pasa.." should not be believed!

And finally, another dodgy word is "Claro". Not the telephone and internet company, but the word meaning of course. You ask if they will be back on time and they answer "Claro", "Of course". The translation of this word is "No way". Telephone and ask if they have been to the supermarket and the answer is always "Claro" when they haven't!

So, living with a Dominican man is great fun and fabulous as long as you learn the new translations for words you thought you knew.


If you want to know more about relationships with Dominican men and read real life stories then check out www.drsisterhood.com. It is a site for anyone who wants to know about the country and the people and if you join, as a member you get access to women who really understand the culture, free translations, free Spanish lessons, access to the members' chat room and discounts on  investigation services.



26 comments:

  1. kelli breckles ramirezJune 15, 2012 at 6:43 PM

    omg you hit the head right on the nail. i have been with my dominican husband for 14years married for 12 and this is soooo true. if you dont understand this it wil be very difficult to get alongwith them. oh and you fogot to put if you ask them when they are coming back and the answer is ahora which means now it really means later. Anywasy very funny and great work. Keep them coming. is this stuff goingto be in your book? If so i want a copy now. It puts asmile on my facewhen i read your blogs.

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  2. Thanks Kelli and congrats on being married for 12 years! I should have mentioned ahora as opposed to ahora mismo but they are all whenever lol. You learn that time doesn't exist really! The book will include lots of this and lots of the dark side too I am afraid. There are two sides to the coin lol! Should be out by the end of the year all being well.

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  3. jajaja tu no eres facil!!! nos esta desenmascarando

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  4. That can certainly be confusing! You really need to learn "dominican man speak"!

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    1. You definitely do Sami, and it is all sorts of things not only time. One of the worst is that they will tell you what you want to hear, not necessarily the truth!

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  5. LOL, sounds like they are quite a handful!

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    1. It definitely keeps life interesting Carole.

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  6. Thank you for this post! It's funny, the more I learn of Dominican man, the more I realize that it's true. I think it is useful to me!
    Olga

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  7. You are hilarious! It's funny to see it from a different angle. It becomes second nature when you grow up with a Dominican father, brothers, and uncles. But it never stops being a little bit annoying though. But you got to love them.

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    1. Love them? I adore them! Lol! And yes is annoying at first but now it makes me laugh as I understand!

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  8. So in other words, regarding Dominican men not really saying what they mean is that Dominican men are like women of any nationality.

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    1. Ha ha! You may have a point actually, as men have to translate what we women say. If they ask if we want help with something like washing the dishes we say no, it's ok. But we really mean yes! But I think we are better when it comes to time!

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  9. Really enjoyed reading this article a lot..but I think there is a lot more to "how to understand a dominican men" like how to make him happy, what are they expecting from you and stuff..(I am not talking about Sanky Pankies but "normal dominican men) Keep up the great work Lindsay :-)

    All the best,

    Julia from Munich

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  11. Wow right on the spot Lindsay your deff. Can't be anymore accurate. We even have a name for it here in NYC we call it Dominican time.

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    1. Ha! Will be writing more about Dominican men so let's hope I am right then too.

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  12. love this! I have just discovered your blog tonight Lindsay and have not stopped laughing and identifying with it! funnily enough, my husband just walked in (after just playing ´un chin´ de basketball (4 hours worth of un chin!) and said - im gonna make dinner, will be around 20 minutes and I burst out laughing in his face becuase i had literally just finished reading this article! oh well, yoghurt time :)

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    1. Ha ha. Am so glad you are enjoying it! Enjoy your yoghurt.

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  14. Seems I am a little late to post a comment but nice article. I understand this is about Dominican men, but was wondering does anyone know anything about Peruvian men? Still trying hard to understand after years

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    1. Sorry no, but I would have thought some of the Latin traits are there.

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  15. I just say ok and don't sweat it.

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  16. If your man is pushing you away and acting distant

    Or if the guy you’re after isn’t giving you the time of day...

    Then it’s time to pull out all the stops.

    Because 99% of the time, there is only 1 thing you can say to a standoffish guy that will grab him by the heartstrings-

    And get his blood pumping at just the thought of you.

    Insert subject line here and link it to: <=========> Your ex won’t be able to resist?

    Once you say this to him, or even send this simple phrase in a text message...

    It will flip his world upside down and you will suddenly find him chasing you-

    And even begging to be with you.

    Here’s what I’m talking about: <=========> Is your man hiding something? He may need your help?

    Thanks again.

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