Monday, April 1, 2013

Dominican Visitors


When I lived in the barrio we had very few visitors coming to stay. Now we have moved to the mountains the invasions I had forgotten about have started again. Dominicans love being in the mountains as it is cooler, and many of those who can afford it have their country homes which they go to at weekends and in the summer for an extended vacation. Those that don’t have a summer home are happy to make friends with someone who does. We now appear to have a lot of friends.

We were on our way back from the book launch in Sosua, and called in to see a man whose sister had died the day before in order to pay our respects. My husband invited the man and his wife here for Easter weekend.  Fine, I thought, I can cope with two people and I do like having visitors.

Friday I cleaned the whole house,mopped the floors, changed sheets and bought the food.

Saturday morning arrived and so did said gentleman, together with his wife of 6 months, her daughter and a friend of hers. Two had become four.  Later on in the morning appeared my two step sons, the girlfriend of one of them, who is Chivirico’s aunt, and a friend. They had called husband and said they were coming and he said fine. Hmm. Two had now become eight. Plus husband and me and Chivirico, there were eleven people in the house.

The cats were the first to lose it. They all disappeared into the mahogany woods next to the house and did not return until everyone left on Sunday, apart from the latest addition, a little grey kitten known as Mariposa, meaning butterfly, who desperately tried to find somewhere to hide. Firstly the wine rack.


And eventually decided to stay in bed under the covers where there was at least some peace and quiet. Wise  move.



The dogs were also unimpressed, and managed to escape under the fence into the wood. It was then decided that we had to strengthen the fence so husband climbed a few trees and chopped off branches to stick in the ground in the fence to fill the gaps. These were laurel trees and another one called the copper wood tree. Apparently you just stick branches in the ground and they root and grow quickly. Great idea, but not sure I would have worn my dad's cream cashmere sweater to do it.


When Dominicans come to your home they do not sit and wait for you to offer them a cup of tea, and to cook a meal. They do it themselves. And they don’t just cook. They clean the house which you have just spent a day cleaning and thought was spotless, they wash your clothes even thought they are clean and stacked neatly in drawers and in the wardrobe, they garden, they mend things, they totally take over.  Now on the one hand this is very nice, and I know I should appreciate it, but I think I must suffer from some sort of "Leave My House Alone Syndrome" as it does my head in. I watch my coloured clothes being washed with bleach and have to shove a fist in my mouth; my new knives disappearing one by one to dig the garden, or to gouge holes in the wall to put up pictures. And when I saw a man in the garden fast approaching where my parsnips are planted with a pick axe in hand, I had no alternative but to retire to my bedroom with a small bottle of rum and do some deep breathing exercises.

I must be honest that the man whose sister had died, Cesar, was amazing. He re dug the new vegetable patch as apparently it was facing the wrong way and planted onions and peppers.


He transplanted watermelons and cauliflower, and dug another 4 vegetable patches ready for seeds.


The kids and the women took over cooking the evening meal, which was just as well as I had bought enough stuff for 4 and now we were 11, so I left them to sort that one out.

At last they all left on the Sunday and the silence was blissful. Then the trauma began of trying to find all the things that had been put in different places from where they belonged. It was lovely of them to wash the dishes, but now I had to find them. The machete had disappeared but was eventually found.

I unhooked all my clothes from the barbed wire fence and had them ready to take upstairs when I went to bed, when the peace was broken by the arrival of some of the neighbourhood women. They saw the basket of clothes that I had already neatly folded and couldn't stop themselves taking everything out, and folding them all up again while I just looked on in amazement.


 Then they took the clothes upstairs and put them away. No idea where.

31 comments:

  1. That is how we dominican are, very helpful and giving.

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    1. Yes you are. It is my fault that it aggravates me so much as I am still not used to it. I feel if I invite someone into my home, or they invite themselves, that I should be the host. And it annoys me when they clean my house from top to bottom. I want them to sit down and relax but it never happens!

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  2. ohhh no lindsay, i was thinkin maybe taking a day or 2 or 3 trip up that way and was gonna come by and visit,, but,,, i would not live up to what they do!!

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    1. You are welcome to visit as long as sit still and do what you are told.

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    2. i will have to help with dishes and such tho,,, put ill leave ur personal things personal!!

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  3. Don't worry Linds, I promise to just sit there and let you do EVERYTHING next weekend, LMAO

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  4. Funny, I had exactly the same last weekend. Matiel came over and within 5 minutes of walking in she was hard at it mopping the floors and cleaning out the kitchen cupboards. I cannot imagine what someone in England would say if a guest walked in and started cleaning their house. I have just given Dany a "folding up the clothes" lesson this morning so hopefully next time you see him he will be able to re-fold all the clothes that you folded and were folded again by someone else.

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    1. Hilarious to think about it happening in England. I wonder what people would say, or just sit and watch it happening. Thanks so much for the Dany training sessions.

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  5. My cats would do the same disappearing act! They always vanish when we have visitors...
    OMG, I could not imagine having friends or visitors cleaning my house or going through my personal stuff!
    I would feel as if my house wasn't clean enough, to their standards anyway...
    What if you have stuff tucked away in a drawers, that you don't want people to know you have?
    I think I would just ask my visitors to sit down and enjoy the rest.

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    1. You can ask but they take no notice. Dominicans just love helping. The only person sitting down is me!

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  6. Your adventures continue even in the campo. I would not feel comfortable with people invading my personal space so I would politely tell them to have a seat and just let me treat them. I hope that you get to find your things that were put away. you know domicans can acostejar things like no other.

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    1. Ha Jay69. I lost loads of things but bit by bit I am finding them in the strangest places too!

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  7. Sounds a bit like my Monday (public holiday here).

    Mr 15 had a friend sleep over, then Mr 12 invited a friend of his, then two friends came to visit Mr O then a third arrived. I ended up with 11 for dinner!

    Non of them folded any washing, however!

    We had three extra bodies over night.

    Next time it is the girls' turn, we have told them.

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    1. Wow sounds like the same. Yes good idea re the girls.

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  8. I admire your patience, Lindsay! I'm gonna have to work on that!

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    1. If you live here Jennifer you have to, or you end up getting stressed!

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    2. a few more months until we do, so I'll start practicing!

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    3. You can start practising before you come. Turn the electricity off for a few hours a day to start with. Also turn the water off every week for a day and go and collect a bucket from the river to wash in. Stop buying any food you can't get here. Buy a plastic chair and sit in front of your house chatting to people. Take food around to your neighbours, play dominoes in the street - I could go on!

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  9. I sure enjoyed reading all about your life.

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  10. If my guests cleaned my house and cooked meals, I would invite them daily.

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    1. That is the problem. I feel guilty that it makes me cross, as I know I should be grateful - but I'm not!

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  11. This is so typical there, you invite one person and end up with seven or eight; it drives me crazy, -LOL- and I was born and raised there!! Growing up, I don't remember guests taking over our house like that; it must be a relatively new custom. I suspect that those you didn't invite are trying to justify their 'crashing' the party by being 'helpful'.
    Something that drove me crazy during the three years we lived there was how I would invite people for dinner at 7:00 PM and they would show up at 9:00 PM, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. -LOL- No explanations, no apologies, nothing! After living in the Western US for 20 years, we tried moving back to the island; unfortunately, I couldn't get used to living there again :( and forced by American husband to move back to the States. I admire and commend you!! Kind regards.

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    1. If we have invited people for dinner I always cook something I can heat up later -souffles are out! I think maybe they just forget. Once we had dinner, had showers, went to bed at around 11pm and I was just falling asleep and my husband woke me up saying bother, we were invited out to dinner in Santo Domingo. He made me get up and we got there after midnight, when we had been expected at 8, not hungry as had already eaten, and they were all waiting for us!

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  12. Now I like the idea of the visitors doing all the house work for me, but I don't like the idea of having to do theirs when I visit their house!

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    1. Ah but do they do it like you do? Or do they scrub non stick pans with brillo pads! I must admit I don't do it when I go to their homes but I think they just think I am a weird English woman.

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  13. haha! I love that story and really laughed at the part about using kitchen knifes to do the garden as I got home the other day to find my husband using the pizza slicer to dig out weeds from the plant pot - i nearly sliced him in half! (goes without saying, he is Dominican!)love reading your blog! cheers, Helen

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    1. Hi Helen. I would have murdered him with the pizza slicer! I have given up on knives so now there is a knife block with old ones in which they use. Mind you, I hate to admit it but I was planting seeds yesterday and in the absence of a trowel I used a knife!!

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  14. OMG we do that, don't we! I am a Dominican woman living with an American guy in New York. We've visited his family in Kansas for the last four years and we always stay with one of his cousins. The last time, I felt that I had to contribute something, so while she was out, I wanted to vacuum and do dishes and clean the bathroom that we were using. My boyfriend got pretty upset to the point I had to stop cleaning. I think that when you invite a Dominican to your house, they expect to give in return, and in many cases this manifest by us helping clean up a bit.
    If I were in your situation, I would just enjoy it! I'm sure it's not meant as a criticism of your cleaning abilities. :)

    Nina

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    1. Nina you have made me howl with laughter. I am sure your American man had no idea what to do - I wish I could have seen it. Yes I sit back and enjoy it now but I still feel guilty as they wont let me clean and wash dishes in their homes! Thanks so much for commenting - loved it!

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